I kicked out my boyfriend after I don’t know how many break ups. Then, I meet a man that, through the anger and fear and pain and confusion, caught my attention.
He didn’t say much. He would tell me I was OK when I apologized for bitching about the ex.
We women do that, don’t we? We complain our pain away.
(We search for that someone who will understand the pain and accept our need to complain, be emotional, and, most of all, not suffer alone.)
Most people say it’s OK, but they look away trying to hide that listening to a woman bitch is part of being her friend. Not this man. He looked me in the eye when he said it. No one has ever done that before.
As a matter of fact, I can’t remember the last time a man looked me in the eye. I’ve been in Oklahoma for ten years. Thinking back, I remember how strange it was that the men would avert their eyes to avoid looking me in the eye.
Later, someone told me it was considered disrespectful for a woman to look a man in the eye. I have more to say on this subject, but not in this article.
Anyway, this man didn’t spend but half a moment looking me in the eye, but the honesty there in his eyes was unmistakable. For the first time in a long time, I felt almost human.
I felt like, if I tried really hard, I might be worth something one day.
Could it be? No, it’s too soon. Besides, such strong attraction happens sometimes. They call it lust.
It wasn’t very long before I found myself thinking about the chocolatey brown eyes. The color was the same as Christmas fudge. Almost dark chocolate, but not quite.