I’m going through a great deal of changes, right now. I decided to take some time to get to know myself.
I gave up a great many important parts of myself for that relationship. Yet, I was constantly being accused of not working at it. It makes me cry to think about my acceptance of me having to change so many fundamental things in order to be with him.
I’m not a victim. A victim doesn’t return to the abuse time and time again. A victim begins to build a new life. I returned to the abuse repetitively and during the times we were separated, I didn’t try to build anything. I simply waited for him to come and convince me to return.
Therefore, I’m a volunteer.
Anyway, I’m putting my novel writing on hold until further notice. I don’t know if it’s something I want to do anymore. I don’t feel the excitement for writing anymore.
I’m being drawn to spiritual matters. So, I’m increasing my connection with the universe. I’m returning to my faith. I gave up my spirituality for him. I followed the tenants of his stated belief system. Though, I don’t think he followed those tenants. I’m not even sure he attempted to follow them.
Anyway, I have begun offering services that align with my faith.
I remove negative energy from people and places. I gather wild plants and make teas, scent satchels, and incense out of them. I’m working on getting the necessary tools for making creams, tinctures, oils, and syrups.
Where I live people can’t afford to see a doctor. The insurance is too costly. Therefore, they suffer through it until they can no longer function. That means a trip to the hospital, which they can’t afford either.
Since these people come to me for these things anyway, I might as well get paid for it.
If I post irregularly, it’s not because I don’t appreciate you. I’m grateful for each and every one of my followers.
I just feel like I’m free falling and don’t have a parachute. I’m trying to get things in order, but battling bed bugs takes most of my time. Yeah. They got me.