The Cost of Narcissism

No good deed goes unpunished. I’ve heard this for years and lived it a few times.

This time, I have a great deal more at stake.

This time, I found out what it was like to be disregarded.

I’m used to being ignored and abused, but disregarded is a whole other playing field.

Ignored is when they don’t pay attention to what you say or do.

Abused is when they attack you for having needs and wants.

Disregard is where they respond to you with “what am I going to do?” or “I need you to (whatever)” or “so?”.

My freedom is being threatened because I was helping some people.

Their response was complete disregard for me and my needs. They, actually, were angry with me because I couldn’t do what they wanted! It didn’t matter to them what I was facing, only that their life was made difficult.

I had read about narcissism and understood it, mentally. I, now, realize some part of me didn’t think they were really like that. Some part of me held the belief they were humane.

They are not humane in any way, shape, or form.

It’s all about them. Always about them.

Funny. I didn’t read one single thing that said they would use each other to trap you. I have been dealing with about six of them. It seems that when I would run from one I would go to another.

There must be something that attracts me to them or them to me.

Now, my health is threatened. My place of residence is threatened. My freedom is threatened.

One of my utilities was turned off. My money was stolen. My food devoured.

It’s shocking to me just how little regard they have for me and what I’ve done for them.

Until next time, if there is a next time…

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