I’m cleaning, organizing, and planning.

My Apartment

After having people coming and going at all hours of the day and night, my apartment looked like an abandoned warehouse taken over by street rats.

For this post, a street rat is a homeless child who does whatever is needed to survive, but cleaning anything isn’t thought about.

I’m organizing as I go, so it’s slow going. It’s shocking how far I let things go.

My Life

I’m letting people go who are not a positive influence.

If someone is having a negative affect, they are informed that communication is not only not needed, but unwelcome.

If they have no affect on my life, I simply let them disappear from it.

There are people I know that only contact me if they want something. I’m no longer available for these people.

My Head

This one is the hardest. Habits are hard to break. Well…

I catch myself thinking,

“I need to get high.”

“I need to get a boyfriend.”

“I need to get some dope.”

“I need to talk to…” This person is someone I used to get high with.

“I wonder what…. is doing.” This is someone I used to get high with.

Sometimes, I catch myself messaging or calling someone I used to get high with.

To me these are not that unusual. I, normally, just go with it and see what happens. Now that I’m clean and trying to stay that way, I have to fight these thoughts and behaviors.

What do you do when you hear a familiar voice say hello, but you don’t remember calling them?

Until next time…

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